Suicidal

No, not me. I am not suicidal. I am a happy camper! My child, however, seems to be trying to kill himself every 12 minutes.

I did not realize that when babies learn to get themselves around, by scooting or crawling or rolling or whatever, that they instantly become suicidal maniacs. He has tried to fling himself off the bed, out of the car, over the couch, down the stairs, and into the bathtub. He has smacked his head on the air conditioner, the floor, the TV stand, a dresser, my shins, the dishwasher, the DVD shelf, and the car door. He has tried to grab knives from my hands, has tried to kick a pot of boiling water when I picked him up, and has tried to eat the power cord to my lap top...while it was plugged in.

Now I know he's going to get bumps and bruises, and I know he's going to fall down a lot. He's not very coordinated, and he can't help but trip over his fat ankles. I can handle that stuff, I can pick him up and dust him off, and I can let him cry for a second and calm himself down, and that stuff is all fine. It's the activities that would lead to, I don't know, massive brain injuries or broken bones, or worse, that freak me the f*#@ out. I mean, how many times can you bang your head on hard objects in one day before you start to do lasting damage? Is there a limit? 5 times? 20 times? Whatever the limit is, he is pushing it.

I try not to be one of those overprotective helicopter moms, who freak out every time they bump themselves on something. I try to let him shake it off when it seems minor. He has to learn to self-soothe a little, and he has gotten really good at it when the bump is pretty slight. But man, oh man...sometimes he whacks himself so hard on things I am surprised he remains conscious.

Is this normal? And do I need to start wrapping his skull in bubble wrap?