a teeny blurb about me

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I am a 32 year old first time mom who is continually shocked at how much those baby books and doulas and midwives don't tell you about having and raising kids...let me tell you, it's a lot!

8.27.2012

Second Time Around...

I think I thought being pregnant would be easier this time. I mean, I had done it once before so I knew what to expect, and I would be less nervous and more in tune with the whole process. I figured my body would kind of step up to the plate and really let this be less difficult, and more fun.

I didn't take into consideration that I have a toddler. A wild, wonderful toddler who goes 90 miles an hour all day.

So those days of double napping, soaking in the tub with a book and some Ben & Jerry's, taking leisurely walks in the park, and popping out at midnight for a chicken sandwich are all over. Instead I am waddling as fast as I can through the mall, chasing Owen down the corridors to the playground, and then trying to referee when he doesn't want to share the big play canoe with other kids. I am working on a mortgage application and my grad school work while he's napping, so I am lucky to get a nap myself most days, and when I do sleep I often wake up much too quickly because he is singing into the baby monitor from his crib. Not to mention how hard it is to haul his hefty booty in and out of said crib...sheesh! I am more exhausted than I thought humanly possible, and it is miraculous that I manage to do all this and still work part time. I am just so grateful my job keeps me seated most of the time. Phew.

Yes, the morning sickness was somewhat less intense. And I haven't gained quite as much weight this time... right now I'm at 32 pounds, as opposed to the 50 pounds I was at when I hit week 34 last time. I am less nervous about things like bad acid reflux, being unable to breathe through my nose, and waking up with leg cramps. I feel more comfortable with my body than I did 2+ years ago. But it's a lot more work this time, and a lot less pampering!

It will be all worth it though. When that little thing comes out all purple and squalling, and I find out if it's name will be Tarson Phillip or Zoey Ann, this present struggle will fade from memory immediately, and I will be glad I went through it.

I just wish that was going to happen today!!!

7.10.2012

Loves and Hates, v2.0

Owen's most favorite stuff:
being naked
eating popsicles
taking pictures
playing in the rain
hiding in cardboard boxes
watching the Duck Song video
being carried around
saying the names of everyone in his family
washing his hands
"driving" the car

Owen's least favorite stuff:
sitting down for more than 2 minutes
getting his nails trimmed
being told to "wait a second"
mommy brushing his teeth
vinegary foods
sitting in the shopping cart
bonking his head on things

4.14.2012

Spontaneous

I have to record this moment for posterity...

Owen was in his jammies and waiting for Aron to put him to bed tonight, so he got into his music drawer, grabbed his xylophone and a drum stick, brought it to me on the futon and started playing it. Aron walked to the bedroom and said 'C'mon Owen, let's have milk and go to bed." So Owen jumps up, turns around, grabs his xylophone and his drum stick, puts them back in his music drawer, and runs in the bedroom.

Wow.

When he fights with me about cleaning his room or picking up his toys or whatever, I am going to have to remind myself of this beautiful moment of spontaneous cleanliness. It was so lovely, I almost cried.

4.07.2012

Newbie

There is going to be a new baby in the house in several months. This means a few things will happen:

1.) I will have more "Holy crap how did I not know about that?!" moments to share with you, because every baby and every pregnancy is different (although so far this one is pretty much living up to my expectations...)

2.) I will begin navigating the new and terrifying world of having-more-than-one-kid, and I will probably be freaking out and totally exhausted for a few months at least.

3.) I will be trying to figure out how to make the transition from only child to older brother as smooth and painless as possible for Owen, who clearly enjoys the lavished attention he gets as an only child, but who also clearly loves playing with other kids and trying to poke little babies.

I am not tooooo horribly worried about any of these things, but I figure it's all going to make for some interesting blog posts, which my poor sad blog has been lacking lately.

On a side note, all of these things make me miss my mom real bad. There's all kinds of stuff I wish I could ask her, or bounce off of her and get her thoughts, and it sucks that she's not accessible.

3.23.2012

ohmygod!

Owen likes to scare the bejeezus out of me. He thinks it is hilarious when I suck in my breath and screech "ohmygod! what are you doing?!"

I don't think it's as funny as he does.

I especially didn't think it was very funny when today, while we were playing outside with Nefi and the new nanny Chelsey, he decided it would be fun to not only squeeze his head through the bars of the gate to the pool in our apartment complex, but it would be even more fun to squeeze his whole body through and run towards the pool.

This wouldn't have been quite so terrifying if that particular gate had been unlocked, and if I hadn't had to sprint at mach speeds to the other gate all the way on the other side and frantically try to remember the code, open the gate, and rush to my child before he dove headfirst into a giant pool with no floatie and no one else nearby to save his butt.

My heart pounds even now, hours later, remembering my terror and his glee.

I know this isn't the last time he's gonna do stuff like this to me. But I will document it all, so when he's older and I need him to do things like fix my back porch or weed my garden I will have some material to pull from in case he needs a good guilt trip to get the work started.

:)

2.23.2012

Away

I have been away from the blog...it's hard to write a decent blog post when you're puking your guts up because the new baby that has lodged itself in your uterine wall is making you feel like you ate a lot of really bad shrimp salad from a vending machine.

Hopefully I will be back at it soon :)

For now, wish me luck. And hand me a cold washcloth.

1.27.2012

Love and Like are NOT the same...

I love my child. I think I may have mentioned this once or twice. A day. For the last 17 months.

But I do not always like him. (It is possible I have mentioned this already, too. But I am allowed to repeat myself! So there!)

He has lately been a sinking ship of emotional insanity. And it's not only quite ridiculous, it's making our time together much less enjoyable.

I refill his sippy cup? He sobs hysterically. I put on his socks? He weeps. I take away a knife he managed to grab off the counter while I was chopping and he was on his tippy toes? He throws himself on the floor and wails. I shut the door to the bathroom? He beats it with his tiny fat fists and cries his eyes out. He drops something soft and not at all painful on his foot? He sheds massive crocodile tears and moans.

EVERYthing is making him cry. Or yell. Or both. Usually, lately, it has been both. He is becoming prone to fits of hysteria, and I don't understand it at all. He can't have PMS, he's a boy. And he can't be depressed, he's never even been in love. He hasn't lost a job, no one has died, and his best friend most certainly has not been spreading awful rumors about him at school.

So what gives?!

It's too early for the terrible twos. He's too young for hormones. And I am too tired to accept that this is the way it's just going to be forever.

Sigh.

I have to remind myself that he's little, and being little is frustrating and hard, especially when you don't know enough words to ask for what you want or understand why you can't have it. Imagine being just over 2 feet tall in a foreign country and speaking 4 words of the language. Yuck, right?

Right.

So I love him, and I feel bad for him, but I am also not enjoying him right now.

1.15.2012

Hmmm. And Damnit!

Nobody ever bothered to mention to me that a consequence of nursing my baby would be that my breasts, which used to be pretty much the best part of my sex life, would be essentially numbed and useless. Yeah, I heard all about how they sag, and they change shape, and they never look the same again. And whatever about all that. Who cares? It's totally worth it. And it doesn't really make that huge of a difference to my sex life.

But the numbness. That sucks. No pun intended.

I would have nursed him anyway, even if I would have known. But it would have been nice to have a head's up. Some warning would have been appreciated.

As it is, I have been pretty pissed about this particular change, and after a conversation with another woman who had the same problem, I have decided to pierce my nipples and see if that changes anything. Piercing them generally increases sensitivity, and can repair inverted nipples, and so I am going to give it a shot. I did some research and even the La Leche League says that there's no evidence piercing would interfere with future nursing of future babies :)

Wish me luck.

1.02.2012

Monkey See, Monkey Do

It's started. Monkey is a mimic.

I don't know why I didn't notice it sooner, but it became totally obvious yesterday when Aron was fervently licking his sticky man-fingers at lunch and Owen was just as noisily licking his little cute baby-fingers and staring at his Daddy with rapt attention.

Of course the little fella has been trying to imitate us for ages. He thinks he can just take a step like a big boy and walk down the stairs the way we do (although he falls on his face every time). He tries to hold a spoon and eat like we do (although the vast majority of his food ends up on his chin that way). He tries to brush his hair (except he prefers to use the big brush that goes with the dust pan) and hold a pen (yeah...no thank you, Mr. Baby!) and talk on the phone (even if the 'phone' is a remote control, or a mega block, or his own hand).

It's cute now, of course. He tries to do things and messes them up somehow, or does them in a really fumbling and adorable way. But the things he has been trying to do are mostly things that are ok, like knocking on the door or taking off his shoes. But one of these days he's going to pick up on the not-so-great things we do, and start doing them, too.

Now is the time, I have realized, for us to start really adopting some better habits. Saying 'please' and 'thank you' more consistently. Looking both ways before we walk in to the parking lot of the apartment complex. Eating all our veggies. Stuff like that, stuff we're going to want him to do. And we have to stop doing things we don't want him to do, like barging in the bathroom when someone is in there, or yelling through the apartment instead of walking to the other room to ask a question.

Being a parent is complicated if you want to raise a well-mannered kid!!