Being ever conscious of money and resources, I have begun to find new uses for things that we no longer use for their original purpose, or extra uses for things we still use, but could use more! And remarkably, all this baby stuff is coming in pretty handy.
Who would have known that a Boppy, while excellent as a pillow for your munchkin to rest on while sucking your body dry, is also a great little 'table' to put your laptop on so you can write in your blog while balancing your Mac on your lap, leaving your feet free to gently wiggle your bundle of poop to sleep in his bouncy seat.
Or Johnson's Baby Shampoo, which gets puke-stinky babies nice and squeaky clean (all without a single tear!), is also quite good at getting the stench of garbage and rotten chicken bits out of your tangled mess of a cocker spaniel's fur after she's destroyed the kitchen trash for the third time this week because she's jealous and depressed...and leaves a mild but pleasant scent!
Speaking of dogs, that bouncy seat you wiggled earlier makes a great dog bed for the more inquisitive and adventurous dog. (I know this because after weeks of wondering how it got covered in black fuzz all the time, I caught her snoozing in it!)
Got some onesies your mini-you has grown out of? Cut off the crotch snaps and they make wonderful, soft dust cloths, when you can manage to find a spare 6 minutes to rush around the house waving a can of Pledge in all directions and swiping down furniture at the speed of sound.
Those creepy little blue bulb things you use to torture your child by trying to suck the snot out of their tiny nostrils are actually nice last-minute replacements for a turkey baster in a pinch. You have to squeeze about 100 times, but it works! (Just remember to REALLY clean it, or your kid's nose will smell like poultry for a few days the next time you use it for its intended purpose.)
Have any clever new uses of your own? Please share them. I need all the help I can get!
:)
a teeny blurb about me
- another clueless mom
- I am a 32 year old first time mom who is continually shocked at how much those baby books and doulas and midwives don't tell you about having and raising kids...let me tell you, it's a lot!
1.13.2011
1.06.2011
Are you freaking kidding me?!?
I am constantly amazed at people, and how thoughtless, insensitive, and feeble minded they can be. I generally maintain a pretty high level of faith in humanity as a whole, but people themselves can be really stupid, and really annoying. Today, I ran into a person who was exactly that. Following is a reenactment of the conversation, in the Reader's Digest condensed version.
Person who I want to smack: "Hey, wow, nice to see you! How are you?"
Me: "Good, really good. How are you? How's [your job] going?"
Person who needs a reality check: "Oh it's great!! Blah blah blah blah blah......blah..... I sent some information to [my job] about it. I never heard from them."
Me: "Oh well I was laid off from [my job], but I am going there this weekend [for a reason related to my son], and I can check on it for you."
Person who is an idiot: "Wait, you already had the baby?"
Me, beginning to cringe: "Yeah, he's four months old now!"
Person who deserves to be flogged REACHES TOWARD MY STOMACH and says: "Oh, so are you expecting another one, then?"
Me, holding back both tears and violent tendencies: "No."
Person with no tact or sensitivity: "Oh...(begins to back away as if to leave)...Well it was great to see you....(is down the hall and cannot be seen, and suddenly shouts backwards) You look great..."
Now I realize that when this person first met me, I was a svelte 24 year old. And when this person last saw me, I was a giant pregnant beast. And I also realize that I had my son four months ago and still weigh 200 pounds and don't fit into the jeans that were my 'fat jeans' when I was 27. I realize that the world assumes that if you had a baby and still look fat a few months later, you must have gotten knocked up again, or you are just lazy. I realize that if I was anything less than a slothful, unhealthy cow, I would have lost that 60 pounds I gained over the course of nine months in a few weeks and, like Heidi Klum and Angelina Jolie, I would be trim and perky from my neck to my knees. I realize all of these things. And still, what I have to say to Mr. Never Had a Kid and Doesn't Know Anything About Women or How to Talk to Them is this:
FUCK YOU.
Person who I want to smack: "Hey, wow, nice to see you! How are you?"
Me: "Good, really good. How are you? How's [your job] going?"
Person who needs a reality check: "Oh it's great!! Blah blah blah blah blah......blah..... I sent some information to [my job] about it. I never heard from them."
Me: "Oh well I was laid off from [my job], but I am going there this weekend [for a reason related to my son], and I can check on it for you."
Person who is an idiot: "Wait, you already had the baby?"
Me, beginning to cringe: "Yeah, he's four months old now!"
Person who deserves to be flogged REACHES TOWARD MY STOMACH and says: "Oh, so are you expecting another one, then?"
Me, holding back both tears and violent tendencies: "No."
Person with no tact or sensitivity: "Oh...(begins to back away as if to leave)...Well it was great to see you....(is down the hall and cannot be seen, and suddenly shouts backwards) You look great..."
Now I realize that when this person first met me, I was a svelte 24 year old. And when this person last saw me, I was a giant pregnant beast. And I also realize that I had my son four months ago and still weigh 200 pounds and don't fit into the jeans that were my 'fat jeans' when I was 27. I realize that the world assumes that if you had a baby and still look fat a few months later, you must have gotten knocked up again, or you are just lazy. I realize that if I was anything less than a slothful, unhealthy cow, I would have lost that 60 pounds I gained over the course of nine months in a few weeks and, like Heidi Klum and Angelina Jolie, I would be trim and perky from my neck to my knees. I realize all of these things. And still, what I have to say to Mr. Never Had a Kid and Doesn't Know Anything About Women or How to Talk to Them is this:
FUCK YOU.
1.05.2011
Multi-tasking
I always considered myself a pretty good multi-tasker. I even put it on my resumes. "I am efficient and capable of multi-tasking various projects in order to meet deadlines and accomplish work related goals." I could multi-task in my personal life too, and frequently IMed while watching TV, or studied for class while taking a bath. You know, really critical stuff. But it is so much more intense now.
I have discovered that I am able to multi-task on a whole new level. I can brush my teeth while changing a diaper (well, not one with poop in it...) I can make dinner while pumping breast milk. I can take a shower while singing silly songs to the Monkey in his bouncy seat. I can wash bottles and talk on the phone. I can pay bills and make faces at the Monkey while he's in his swing. I can burp him while putting dishes away.
Now maybe that's not that impressive. But considering the fact that I am always doing at least two things at a time, all day, every day...well that's kind of intense. And it's a necessity. If I don't manage several tasks at a time, I don't get anything done. Really. Nothing. If I am not doing laundry while comforting a teething baby, or giving him a bath at the same time I take one (which will only be acceptable for so long...haha), I would spend my whole day focusing on him and never do anything else. I have learned to do this stuff because I have to, or my house will turn into a pit of dirty laundry and slimy dishes. I mean, my husband, bless him, does a lot of housework and is very helpful, but he has a full time job, and even he couldn't keep up with all of this himself.
No, I have discovered that one of the most important tools of mommy-hood is being able to split your brain and your body in half; one half focuses on the baby, the other half focuses on your life.
And now, having eaten breakfast while writing this blog, I need to go get dressed while packing a diaper bag.
I have discovered that I am able to multi-task on a whole new level. I can brush my teeth while changing a diaper (well, not one with poop in it...) I can make dinner while pumping breast milk. I can take a shower while singing silly songs to the Monkey in his bouncy seat. I can wash bottles and talk on the phone. I can pay bills and make faces at the Monkey while he's in his swing. I can burp him while putting dishes away.
Now maybe that's not that impressive. But considering the fact that I am always doing at least two things at a time, all day, every day...well that's kind of intense. And it's a necessity. If I don't manage several tasks at a time, I don't get anything done. Really. Nothing. If I am not doing laundry while comforting a teething baby, or giving him a bath at the same time I take one (which will only be acceptable for so long...haha), I would spend my whole day focusing on him and never do anything else. I have learned to do this stuff because I have to, or my house will turn into a pit of dirty laundry and slimy dishes. I mean, my husband, bless him, does a lot of housework and is very helpful, but he has a full time job, and even he couldn't keep up with all of this himself.
No, I have discovered that one of the most important tools of mommy-hood is being able to split your brain and your body in half; one half focuses on the baby, the other half focuses on your life.
And now, having eaten breakfast while writing this blog, I need to go get dressed while packing a diaper bag.
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